1 1 2014


  • [] Write a retrospective and prospective for 2014.
  • Order birthday present for Priscilla.


2:26:50 AM: Did not do that today.


2:13:36 PM: Started the KAP meditation today, but I interrupted myself when I heard kitkat knocking stuff off of the shelf, and I realized I zoned out during a huge section of the meditation. So I think I should try again later when I feel better rested.


2:14:33 PM: Had a little sexercise, might restrict to just walking today, since I worked hard yesterday between climbing and lots of walking.


2:26:42 AM: Took a break today.


7:19:15 AM: Very strange dreams this morning. Dad held an intervention for me because I didn’t get a high enough subject test score for multivariable calculus on some sort of standardized test, so he brought a bunch of people over that homeschooled to come talk to me about how I should use this one particular text book to prepare for the test, but they all brought their young children and it felt too awkward for dad to really even bring up what he wanted the meeting to really discuss and we just ended up awkwardly watching television and then adjourning. Not everyone had a chair so I ended up standing to make room for everyone else, and then sitting at the opposite end of the room. The meeting took place in a really chilly basement of a strange house. The house apparently belonged to like Aditya’s godmother and it had a huge turtle that looked and acted aggressive like an alligator that chased me around a bit while Daria and dad restrained it finally and I saw a lot of other exotic and less exotic pets around. Before or after that somehow I lived with this family and since I didn’t want to mooch from them during the meal times I went to this Chinese buffet and would load up a plate with food and then run out, because it a really weird structure. While I wandered the restaurant I saw mom’s brother Noah there, who took me downstairs. This might actually lead up to the part before, I confused the chronology here a bit. So the restaurant basement may have morphed into the weird house. I think the transition occurred like this: we watched the television and Louis CK brought a bunch of girls on his show in the audience and did a thing where they all called his cellphone at once, which in the dream made it ring super load instead of just ringing once. And they all looked cute and young, so the men in the audience felt jealous or something. And then they all left the show. And then inexplicably we followed the life of one of the girls from a third person vantage as she went around tagging tons of stuff with graffiti and narrowly avoided getting caught several times. She tagged a huge grain elevator like the ones in Minneapolis the most, but someone wanted to tear it down. I think a lot of the dream took place there. Yeah, the same place where the dream started. So then I went to go back into it with Daria and Priscilla, because they apparently know this place super well, and I know it a bit less well, and they walked through it really fast which made me feel scared me a bit because it looked dark and they kind of leave me behind at certain points. I remember at an earlier point during the dream running out of the basement with a group of people, including the graffiti girl, I think, and out of the building.

2:12:22 PM: Had some nice conversation with Daria today about the future of our relationship. I felt relieved that I could tell her sometimes a part of me tells me that I should see other women, but most of me feels romantic and just wants her.

2:15:08 PM: I had a great time yesterday. The little indian restaurant we went to seemed a bit insane, and the indian store had lots of awesome stuff in it. I loved seeing Steve and getting to hang out with him.

2:26:34 AM: Had a great time with Steve and Randall and Daria at the Uncommons game cafe. Also had a great lunch with David Dalrymple and Randall and Daria at Hanjoo. David will probably go to hacker school and may live with me. He ran out of money to do nemaload, but now he will work on mesh. He also worked on a project called labortorium in san francisco. I won in settlers of catan today employing the tit for tat strategy and I think it worked. I like winning games but not at the expense of my values. I will play games in order to express myself and not to win. I think that will be a fun way to play. Watch me cast a spell here. Play is expression.

2:35:06 AM: yijing today gave me 23. Splitting Apart. Mountain over fire.Huge synchronicity since this features prominently in the illuminatus trilogy which I have read the last few days. Haven’t finished it yet. It looked ominous at first, but I got a sixth in the fifth place. I think it indicates to me what I must do at sailthru and rally myself behind a strong leader. It cautions me against trying to take control, because I do not have a strong foundation to work on right now. Therefore in this interpretation I take the position of the weak principle that yields to the strong, and we both profit. Also splitting apart represents the acquiescence of my psyche to philosopher-queen aliza.

2:39:00 AM: The yijing next lead to 20. Contemplation (view). “It means both contemplation and visibility, in the sense of people viewing you as an example”. Wind over earth, the image resembles a tower. The tower where Aliza keeps her headquarters, the center of my breath. I feel this resembles a powerful portent. If I can build a solid base through my contemplation people will see me as an example and I will gain influence. “Thus a hidden spiritual power emanates from them, influencing and dominating others without their detection of how it happens.”

2:46:00 AM: Matt Wetmore raised a great point today when he came over to the apartment. Rewriting helps to internalize knowledge.

2:46:29 AM: Idea: a corpus of information we consider most valuable, reviewed frequently.

2:46:48 AM: Air / Sword is the power to disbelieve, dissect, and analysis. Fire / Wand is the power to create, imagine, believe. Water / Cup is the power to receive, sense, intuit. Earth / Disk is the power to project, express, connect.

2:48:33 AM: I know I just forgot an idea here somewhere. Hopefully it will resurface.

2:49:33 AM: Remember, I use ‘is’ only for magical purposes now.

2:50:17 AM: One day I will write a book called ‘Isis magic’ to see if anyone gets the meaning.