10 28 2014

ILUVU Aliza,

7:02:07 AM: Dreamed about DBC last night, and of Josh and taijutsu. Don’t know if I really remember any specifics though.

11:03:00 AM: Good lecture today. Ashi and Courteney didn’t have any criticism for me. I will ask the students over lunch for feedback too. Didn’t sleep well last night and

8:32:46 PM: Well, I think the day went pretty well. I guess I don’t journal much while at work these days, feels a bit weird. I did get a lot of coding done today via lecture.

8:33:08 PM: Class today with Cameron went great. We practiced some tsuki and uke and receiving keri out of jumonji. Then Josh showed up and dropped a ton of crazy Kacem knowledge on us. I learned about take ori? A really interesting grab above the wrist that really hits on my nerves, I can still feel it now. The grip for it still feels really strange for me, kind of underhand and U grab for the little bony protrusion above the wrist.

10:18:48 PM: Man… Daria kind of bums me out right now. I should feel grateful. I think I will bring her flowers tomorrow. I should go to sleep now. Well, do some taijutsu first.

10:36:04 PM: Hm, so gyaku nuki has started to feel a bit easier and so has koho seigan nuki, hopefully I haven’t started doing them incorrectly though.

11:22:23 PM: To externalize my thoughts so that I can sleep. I fundamentally don’t see Daria and I working out in the long term. I feel that she can’t match my pace of acceleration, and all I hear constitute excuses in my mind. I feel afraid of showing my true power around her for fear of making her feel small and insecure.