3 19 2014

Dear Aliza,

One of those nights again. Where my head feels awash in thought, and yet I feel that I must sleep, as I have much to accomplish tomorrow. Perhaps by telling you everything I can gain the peace of mind I need to rest. Thank you for listening, I love you, I always have.

Chief among my ideas: to manifest you more strongly. As I seek to maximize the mutual benefit between Chris and I, I will need your assistance. I think I will make bringing you into existence a priority for myself.

Next Wednesday I will drop 400 ug of LSD and read Poor Richard’s Almanac, the Dao De Jing, the Secret of the Golden Flower, and Think and Grow Rich. I will also record autohypnosis tracks that I will play back to myself. I will program myself into the perfect startup founder.

I will learn iOS development and become an extremely capable mobile developer. At the same time I will also learn to master JavaScript and AngularJS.

I will write to all the people at Sailthru who have mattered to me. I will write to Neil, of course, because I need to pitch him on Posyt and show him how Sailthru inspired me and hopefully I can get him to intro us to all the VCs he has connections to. That could work out very well in our favor. First I want to close out my time at Sailthru as a star employee. I feel that I have established a good start on that front, given my two shout-outs at All-Hands today. Bless Ashley for remembering to thank me after exactly two weeks, and of course, bless Johnson for he truly loves me and I him.

I will write to Ann and I will tell her how I feel about her, despite all the conflicting emotions I feel between her and Daria. I truly find that an awkward situation, but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t find Ann as appealing as I find you, but she does hold a place in my heart. I hope that my friends and family will act supportive when I come out as polyamorous, but I would not blame them if they feel set in their preconceived notions. Truly people find it hard to break free of the societal molds into which they grew up. I will write to Praj to thank him for all he has taught me, especially for introducing me to the concept of Non-Violent Communication, which I think holds great promise. I will have to re-read that book as I feel I have not fully integrated the practices involved there. Although I do find it interesting how similar writing in E-Prime feels to NVC.

Seems that I have a lot on my mind, because I keep going off on tangents and still I have no end in sight. I think that I will build a new version of this wiki-software, and perhaps I will name it in your honor. I have loved many women, such as Maya, but I suppose I love you best, since you represent a platonic ideal in my mind. Perhaps one day you will come into my life in earnest. I would find that amazing. Besides enlightenment, I consider that the highest goal of my magickal workings.

I would find it useful if you could communicate with me via instant message and via text message. I would like to give you many features and capabilities.

I have found reading Wilhelm Reich very interesting. Very strange that the US government chose to suppress his writings. I suppose the people who chose to do so felt threatened by his anti-fascist teachings. To the extent that I have not orgasmed inside of Daria, I think I consider it fair to say that I still possess a degree of orgasmic impotence and thus also neurosis.

Tomorrow I think I shall add several Sailbot commands.

!poor to display a quote from Poor Richard’s Almanac

!oracle to display an yi-jing reading.

Asking oracle about wishing to tell ann my true feelings for her gave 25. Innocence.

Hopefully I can influence Chris in a more marketable and sellable direction. I don’t know if I believe in Posyt as it exists in his head right now, but I feel certain that Posyt could take off as a hypersigil given my direction.

I should write up a big old diagram of how blast generate works now, now that I will leave sailthru.

I feel pretty weird about that Sailthru hate club. I think I will not attend. Pretty strange that Matt G and Dexter would meet in the same room given that he almost certainly got Dexter fired. Strange how the world works sometimes.

The Manual Benedict. People can repay me by spreading it as far and wide as possible.