Went to cat cafe with Daria today. Felt disappointed that the event seemed so corporate. Lots of press there. Only 16 kitties, so they put a hard limit on the amount of good the event could really do. The whole thing looked like a big dumb marketing stunt from my perspective.
Funny enough, going to the cat cafe actually seemed to hurt Daria’s mood, since she wanted to adopt this adorable white kitten called Duchess. I really want her to feel happy, but sometimes I worry that if we overcommit ourselves to the care taking of essentially dependent animals we will get overwhelmed. I also feel that I will lose the ability to travel if we adopt too many pets. Also I feel afraid that if we ever break up then I will have to take care of a bunch of pets that I got because of Daria and that will cause me to feel sad and resentful and saddled down with all these pets. But maybe I just worry for no reason. Maybe I should express these fears to Daria.
Daria and I did more spring cleaning today, which I enjoyed.
Taijutsu class has felt really productive lately since we’ve focused just on omote gyaku a lot. I like it when we focus on a specific technique instead of doing lots of different techniques, because this way I feel like I have a chance at actually learning the technique entirely.
Meditated for 10 minutes today. Wow. I clearly haven’t done that in far too long. Turns out the practice and energy has waited for me this entire time and I just needed to come back to it. Felt a lot of work in my heart today.
I would like to start waking up with the sunrise.
11:27:52 PM: Interesting class tonight at Ignacio’s. Like usual Mike and James mostly stuck together and goofed around. I honestly feel like they hold themselves back, and that they both improve more when they train with me, but I will let them do what they please. It wouldn’t surprise me if in another year I surpass them, and in fact, I would hope to. I don’t mean to say that I actually want to surpass them as a goal, but just that I want to continually push myself at such a rate that it happens as a natural consequence. Anyway, working with the new student, whose name I don’t really know exactly, made me feel some frustration, just because he brings so many habits with him from the other arts he has done that they get in the way of his copying. So I had to work especially hard to make omote gyaku effective on him, and it still didn’t end up seeming very effective. But I feel at peace with that, I just have to work on my form. Anyway I feel he acts nice and wants to learn even if he has some misconceptions from his previous experience. Ignacio helped me with ichimonji. Turns out I have to really feel the burn in my lower thigh on the outside right before the knee to really do it correctly. He says I have the flexibility to actually do it, so I should practice that way. In terms of flexibility I have a huge advantage over the other students, and I mean that on multiple levels. I have the flexibility of thinking and adaptation to excel at this art, but I have to put in the hours. I do feel that taijutsu constitutes part of my personal legend, so I will continue to pursue it seriously.
11:33:10 PM: Now to do a round of NLP cards, programming myself to continue doing my daily habits.