7 14 2014

Dear Aliza,

6:57:17 PM: Okay, so I will now attempt to just get a lot of discursive thoughts off my mind and completely clear it out so that I can go and blast off into DMT hyperspace successfully.

6:57:48 PM: So I skipped taijutsu today because it started raining as I got home and I honestly didn’t feel like going to a tanren class. I don’t really enjoy going to gyms, although the last tanren class I went to did teach me a lot.

I came up with a schedule for HOPE X today so I enjoyed doing that.

Tough conversation today with the woodchucks, about the division that had formed in our cohort. Overall I feel hopeful, the atmosphere felt very tense to me, and I aired out a lot of my feelings. Kind of beat myself out a bit as a tactic to get the students to cooperate.

New cohort seems nice enough, I don’t really know any of them at this point, nor do I think I really will get to know most of them.

I think my introduction went well today. Also during the intro today multiple people said that they considered me the most important teacher in theirs lives, which I found very humbling to hear. I think I might change around the schedule of my NT time since I want to go to the taijutsu retreat thing, and I don’t really know how that will work, but I will ask Josh at GNK. I really feel excited for HOPE X, the talks look excellent, I expect I will learn a lot.

Sometimes I think about just becoming a full time dealer. I wanted to sell some tabs to dinesh today, but since he didn’t show up I guess I can save them for Mike’s crew. I gave Brendan a copy of the kama sutra and Understanding Reality, which I hope he will enjoy.

Of course, I really enjoyed the game house trip and haven’t had time to reflect on that. I think in the Risk game I had some bad karma from a few small moments where I tried to cheat and then my luck in dice turned. Lesson to self, fortune favors the honorable, at least in my universe. I had a great time though and generally thought that I conducted myself like a great sportsman, which resulted in everyone wanting to invite me to game night, so I fully expect to go that, because I really like that group of people and would like to have more experiences with them. I feel a bit awkward because I really like Monica, and once again I really don’t know what to do about loving multiple people. I do really, really love Daria and sometimes I think about spending the rest of my life with her. But I also feel young and full of life and interested in a variety of experiences. Anyway, I don’t know, just some thoughts.

Still divided on my future career too, between Sailthru and Dev Bootcamp and Kensho and Bond Street I feel like I have a lot of options. I really don’t care to fill out this BPSS certification at this point it constitutes my single biggest sticking point for staying at DBC. Also, I still haven’t received my bonus check for DBC getting acquired, so I don’t know why that has taken so long. And I haven’t received payment from Sailthru either and they keep requesting little changes and fixes. Maybe after I get paid I can switch them over to hourly billing.

Maybe I could work as a contractor for sailthru and skip the whole rigamarole of working there full time.

I want to work on read.zencephalon.com and I want to work on this some more. And I want to build a better tarot spreads site than fourth dimensional tarot, since it kind of sucks hard core. I could program multiple spreads and a far better tarot journal. tarot.zencephalon.com, yeah.

And I might as well build my own iching journal at the same time then.

7:07:33 PM: Okay, I think I got most of it. Now time to go trip.