Execution

Palms feel slick with sweat. Heart races. Throbbing thumps. Throat tight. Clenching down screams. Body quivering. The animal instinct against death. Body in turmoil. I try to control my thoughts. Comfort in a higher cause. Resolution in death. Facing the system, my death will serve as a testament to their corruption. Can’t help thinking: shouldn’t have ended up here. Betrayed. Who leaked the information? A mole. But who? My friends and family must watch carefully. I fear our movement could collapse from paranoia but I remember our protocol. Splinter. Some splinter cells will invariably escape without moles. Just breathe. No need for discursive thoughts as they march me to the chamber. Just breathe. Breathe. Breaaaathe. That fucker Anderson, I know he did it. Breathe. Some say the next world reflects the thoughts of the dying. I should think on the good. Breathe. I have accomplished much in a short time. My body involuntarily struggles against my chains. A guard yanks, causing my body pain. Interesting this disassociation. Body feels far away, like I have begun to depart already. Breathe. Goodbye. I never said it. I love you. I never said it. Goddamn, stupid of me. I hope she knew. Oh, I hope she knew. Goodbye, goodbye.