Jealousy makes me feel weak and cowardly.
I love Daria very much. More than I knew I could love someone. And if she loved another man, then I would love that man too. As a lover, that’s simply the right thing to do. Personally, I can think of few things more joyous than celebrating a loved one’s love. Anyone someone I love loves, is a friend of mine.
To be jealous of your lover’s lover is the height of selfishness. No true lover would be so little as to destroy another love. If I were jealous it would mean I wasn’t brave enough to love, making me a coward. If I were jealous it would mean I wasn’t strong enough to love, making me a weakling.
It would also mean I’m a freaking moron. If Daria loves someone, that is a strong endorsement of their character. One of the strongest endorsements anyone can receive is being loved by someone I love. Outside of the people I love, the people I want to help most are those loved by the people I love. Isn’t this just the most obvious implication of the meaning of love?
I grew up in a culture that tends to portray jealousy as going along with love. “If the person you love is worth it, and they love someone else, then you’ll be jealous,” it told me. I disagree. Jealousy feels like anti-love to me. If the person you love is worth it, then it’s worth not being jealous. It’s worth breaking out into song and dance with exuberance that they have found yet more love!
Love is not a pie. Just because I love Daria a lot, doesn’t mean there is any less love to go around. Rather, love is like a fission reaction. You kindle a love here, and soon it starts a chain reaction. Don’t extinguish a beautiful cascade of love through a selfish implosion.
Love is sometimes analogized to chemistry, as in, ‘the nuclear family’. I like this analogy, but I think most people don’t take its implications far enough. I think we should encourage the formation of higher order molecules. Most ‘nuclear family’ relationships are like H2, one atom bound to another atom, both accepting only one bond. Maybe most people are H, so naturally most relationships are H2. But that doesn’t mean we should stop the formation of other beautiful structures like H2O, CH4 or even massive animo acid chains comprised of families linked together by love between their members.