Study Questionnaire

Do you ever feel really high? Can you describe it?

Yes, when I meditate I can enter Jhana states of bliss. Words can’t describe this, as you must seek the experience yourself. I will attempt to approximate. It is as if my entire body—every cell—is suffused with light. There is deep joy and peace within my heart and I feel my entire being in harmony. The imagined boundary between myself and the universe is dissolved and at once I understand that everything is connected, just as both modern physics and ancient tradition tell us.

Do you ever feel really low? Can you describe it?

In the past I did. I was once afflicted with depression and short attention span. I had trapped myself in a prison of my own negative thoughts. Unable to break out of that reality I had built I spent days languishing in bed, addicted to pornography, abusing drugs. I hated myself and could not find pleasure in any activity. I no longer feel “low” as people would describe it. How? I am not my thoughts, I am not my emotions. Both I manipulate as I will. If I were to feel low, it would be for the sake of playacting.

Do you ever have several feelings at once? Can you describe them?

Certainly. My baseline feelings are the following: relaxed calm, confidence in my abilities, happiness, love, and ecstasy. I learned to maintain this state through a practice known as the Secret Smile, and I am happy to teach it to anyone.

How are you affected by the feelings of people around you?

There was a time when I was greatly affected. Now that I am in control of emotion, I choose to respond to the feelings of people around me in whichever manner I believe best fulfills my guiding principles.

Which of your own feelings affect you most strongly and how?

None. My feelings can’t affect the infinitesimal spark of consciousness that is my true existence. Rather it is I who affect feelings.

Have you ever formed a strong attachment to a place, a pet or a person? If so could you describe it?

In the past, certainly. I have loved my homes and loved my friends. Now I do not remain attached for all phenomena are impermanent. When Daria is present I appreciate every moment with her. When Daria is gone I appreciate every moment without her.

How do your friendships develop?

People often wish to be my friend. If that is the case I allow it to develop. If someone is in need of a friend I approach. If a group would benefit from my perspective, first I adapt myself to the group, then after I have melded with the group I slowly reveal unexpected facets so that they are exposed to new ideas.

What situations bring you into conflict with others?

One of my guiding principles is “Minimize Interference”. Thus I never bring myself into conflict with others. This question is poorly worded, as situations never bring a person into conflict, that person brings him or herself into conflict. I would intervene on behalf of the weaker party if I saw an asymmetrical attack.

What makes you most afraid or anxious?

Things do not make you afraid or anxious, you make yourself afraid or anxious by your response to the thing. Should I choose to make myself afraid or anxious it would be over the great confusion of people and plight of the poor.

Do you ever think of death?

Continually. I live the true Buddhist doctrine of reincarnation, which is to die in every moment and be reborn a better person.

If you ask yourself, “Who am I really?” what is the answer?

Everything and nothing.

How well do you like being all by yourself?

Perfectly well. As a zentrovert I choose to appreciate introversion when there is no one, and extroversion when there is someone.

How well do you like being watched and admired?

Perfectly well.

What kinds of things give you the most pleasure? When you experience pleasure, with what sense, or senses, do you feel it the most? (Give specific examples).

Meditation as it allows me to give myself pleasure to whatever degree I can stand.

Seeing (kinds of colors, clothes, face, bodies, hair, etc.)

All sights are beautiful and to be appreciated in the moment.

Tasting (kinds of foods, drinks, sweets, spices, etc.)

All tastes are beautiful and to be appreciated in the moment.

Smelling (perfume, smoke, bodies, hair, etc.)

All smells are beautiful and to be appreciated in the moment.

Touching (fur, hair, hands, cheeks, lips, etc.)

All textures are beautiful and to be appreciated in the moment.

Hearing (songs, voices, birds, wind, etc.)

All sounds are beautiful and to be appreciated in the moment.

What kinds of things disgust you? (Give specific examples)

Seeing

Following the Tantric path I have confronted that which did disgust me until I learned the arbitrariness of all my reactions. Since I determine my own reactions to all that I experience, I have decided my reaction will be that of love and appreciation. All sights are beautiful and to be appreciated in the moment.

Tasting

All tastes are beautiful and to be appreciated in the moment.

Smelling

All smells are beautiful and to be appreciated in the moment.

Touching

All textures are beautiful and to be appreciated in the moment.

Hearing

All sounds are beautiful and to be appreciated in the moment.

Do you ever indulge in daydreams or fantasies? If so what is your special kind?

Yes. That governments will operate from the bottom-up, driven by informed and self-sufficient citizens living and working together in cooperative corporations for mutual benefit. That all basic necessities will be provided for anyone born on this planet, so that people are freed to pursue creativity and their true will. That Thelema will taught across the globe. That billions shall be enlightened, or at least that meditation is taught instead of detention in compulsory schooling.

What kind of dreams to you have and how often?

Lucid dreams every evening, which I use to think creatively, get extra practice in my skills, and explore my subconscious.

How well can you picture or “see” events that occurred in your life or someone else’s life, and events that are still in the future? Could you give examples?

I can visualize events in my own life with clarity. Everything that is possible to imagine has happened and will happen, what use is glimpsing an arbitrary slice of that except to write ‘fiction’?

Do you ever catch yourself seeing or imagining things? Could you give examples?

I do not catch myself doing it, as I do it as I will it. I imagine things that I wish to occur as a way of organizing my concrete approach towards making them manifest.

Does it ever appear that the things around you may have a life of their own and that plants, animals and all things in nature have their own thoughts and feelings? Could you give examples.

If I choose to see the world through that reality tunnel then everything has an animating spirit. That is just one perspective out of many with which to view the world.

Are you poetically inclined? If so, could you give an example of what comes to mind in a poetic mood?

Define inclined. I compose poetry, usually when love is on my mind.

What kind of things gets your mind going?

Again, things do not get the mind going. The mind gets itself going. If I choose to stir it up, then it stirs.

What do you like to concentrate on the most?

Attaining mushin through meditation.

In what manner does the unknown become known to you, i.e., in what manner do you grasp new ideas and concepts?

Through direct observation and inspiration.

Do you ever observe and analyze yourself?

Of course.

Do you ever think about your own thinking?

Of course.

Do you ever carry on arguments in your own head? Could you explain what they are all about?

Yes. The mind is not one mind but many. The representatives of various interests will argue and confer over which actions to undertake, after which I make a decision.

In what manner do you observe and analyze others?

Observation and analysis or judgment are separate. It is essential to observe with complete openness. After that, mental models are revised with the new data.

Do you ever feel sharply critical?

If I choose to, yes. I choose to turn the dagger of analysis inward.

When you read a book what attracts your attention the most?

Processes I can apply to my life, or allegories for spiritual attainment.

When do you feel the most energy? How do you discharge it?

When I perform qi gong meditations and draw energy into myself. If I don’t discharge it through healing or other effects, then I either store the energy in my hara for later use, or I ground it in the earth.

ON what occasions do you find yourself chattering or talking incessantly?

I don’t. One of my guiding principles is “minimize noise”.

What kind of play, games or practical jokes do you engage in?

Following in Robert Anton Wilson’s footsteps I enjoy engaging in ontological guerrilla warfare.

What kind of physical activity (or inactivity) gives you the most satisfaction?

I practice Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu.

When do you feel the greatest urge to do something?

Right before I do it.

Do you ever act on impulse?

I create impulses through which actions occur.

Do you have any nervous habits? Give specific examples.

No, I have eliminated these.