I usually consider the pattern “I can’t X” an error in thinking.
Let’s say U will learn to shilurple for the first time. It doesn’t matter what shilurpling involves. U want to do it, and U’ve failed five times already. At this point, don’t think “I can’t shilurple”. The factual and true statement: “I haven’t shilurpled yet.”
I find this one of the most prevalent fallacies of thought that exists. Think about how U would scientifically prove U can’t shilurple. U would have to test every possible permutation of situations in which U try to shilurple and exhaustively demonstrate that under NO circumstance could U shilurple. U can really only prove that U can shilurple.
To prove a statement like, “I can’t run five miles” U would have to try every single configuration of starting conditions and five mile tracks to prove that they all don’t work. In the course of trying such an experiment I think U would rapidly discover that U can, in fact, run five miles. For example, if U have worked out for a while (part of the initial condition) and the entire five miles went downhill.
If I wanted to prove a statement like “I can’t use the line ‘How would U like to feel increasingly happy each day for the rest of Ur life?’ to get a phone number” I would have to literally use this line with every single woman ever.
So remember. Not “I can’t do math” but “I haven’t done math yet”. Not “I don’t enjoy bluegrass” but “I haven’t enjoyed bluegrass yet”. Not “I can’t stand snakes” but “I haven’t withstood snakes yet”.
Never preclude Urself from future possibilities. To do so limits U! Some limits seem good, granted. I gladly live within the self imposed limit “I can’t kill someone” and not “I haven’t killed someone yet”. But I urge U to examine all the limits U have built and see if they really benefit U. I used to walk around in a prison constructed out of my own mental limitations, and it sucked. “I can’t talk to girls”, “I can’t have fun at parties”, “I can’t sing”, “I can’t dance”, “I can’t write well”, etc.
Think about what U can’t do, then think that U can. Break free my friends. sds